Support for survivors, prevention of child abuse & harm in our communities
Understanding, empathy & support from the author of Circling The Wagons
Dragonfly = transformation, renewal, resilience.
About Dragonfly Advocacy
Dragonfly Advocacy website
The Dragonfly Advocacy website was originally created as a place for readers of my book to reach out to me. Over time, it has grown into a broader advocacy platform dedicated to child protection, supporting adult survivors of childhood trauma and prevention of all forms of harm in our communities.
Through my own healing journey and advocacy work, I came to understand how much was missing in public conversations, particularly around Intra-familial childhood sexual abuse (IFCSA), early intervention, and the long-term impacts of trauma.
This website now brings together a wide range of resources, reflections, and educational content, including blogs on my lived experience, child safety and protection information, online safety education for adolescents, survivor-focused podcasts and book resources, and links to trusted support organisations across Australia.
My role is that of an advocate only. I publicly support and raise awareness around these issues, but my views and experiences should never replace professional advice or therapeutic support. If you are in need of immediate or ongoing assistance, please refer to the support services listed on this website, including Lifeline, DVConnect, Stopitnow Aust and 1800RESPECT. I have no formal affiliation with any organisations shared, only a deep commitment to child protection and survivor healing.
Meet the author
Deb is a Brisbane-based author, advocate, research participant, and lived-experience speaker. In 2023, Deb stepped forward publicly to help other survivors find their voice and know they are not alone.
Her book, Circling the Wagons, was written to help adult survivors better understand their experiences, particularly the complexities of abuse that occurs within families.
Deb's Advocacy Journey
Since then, Deb has been invited to speak at a number of events and forums, including Moreton Bay Says No To Violence, The Daniel Morcombe Foundation’s Bright Futures Forum in Canberra, Laurel Place’s Sexual Violence Awareness Month event, and Laurel House Tasmania’s - Courageous Conversations Symposium.
She also contributed to the AVA Project with the University of Melbourne, participating in a national roundtable that brought survivor perspectives directly in front of policymakers. Deb continues to be involved with a national survivor advocacy group called EVVIE "Every victims voice is essential" to bring awareness to "child on child" harm, that is becoming more and more common.
In 2025, Deb was invited to join The Daniel Morcombe Foundation’s Bright Futures Community of Practice group and co-presented a Bright Futures webinar focused on the role of victim-survivors and lived experience in the public health prevention of Harmful Sexual Behaviour.
Helping future children from her lived experience
A central focus of Deb’s advocacy is early intervention. Particularly ensuring that children and teenagers receive appropriate support before trauma, harm, or unmet needs shape their future. She is especially passionate about raising awareness of child-on-child harm, IFCSA, and the long-term impacts when children are not adequately supported.
Moving forward
Deb’s ongoing mission is to support, educate, and encourage adult survivors as they navigate their healing journey, and to help create safer, more informed communities for future generations.
Deb came up with the hashtag #sameherenoshamehere to remind survivors they are not alone, and should never feel any shame for what they endured.
Circling the wagons- book
Circling The Wagons 2nd edition – Now Available
Circling The Wagons is an honest and compassionate story of one woman’s path to self-discovery, resilience, and rebuilding her life.
Written for fellow survivors of childhood abuse and for those who support them, this powerful book explores the long-term emotional, psychological, and relational impacts of unspoken trauma.
The book also offers valuable insights for counsellors, advocates, and professionals working in child protection, as well as students and academics in Psychology, Social Work, Criminology, Education, Public Health, Law, and Gender Studies.
It will resonate with anyone seeking a deeper, lived-experience understanding of trauma, intervention, and the social dynamics of generational intra-familial abuse.
Through raw storytelling and hard-earned insight, the author reveals how silence, shame, and denial can deepen wounds and how healing begins when survivors reclaim their voice.
The book provides validation, encouragement, and practical guidance for navigating complex family dynamics, confronting misplaced guilt, and embracing self-acceptance.
A unique feature of the paperback edition is the inclusion of lined pages at the end, offering a private and gentle space for survivors to begin telling their own stories, in their own time.
Above all, the message is clear:
It was never a child’s fault. Healing is possible, and survivors of childhood sexual abuse deserve to live free from shame.
Where to Buy in Australia
· Author Website section below – Paperback $35 (includes Australia-wide delivery)
Queensland Stockists
· Samford Variety Store – Samford
· Baffies Oan Bookstore – Samford
· NewsXpress – The Gap Village Shopping Centre
· The Little Book Nook – Palmwoods
· Rendezvous Café & Bookshop – Dayboro
Worldwide
· Available in eBook and paperback via major online retail
Available now on Audio book via most distributors including - Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/0iXelMBNZRfLNkACeZTpth
A fellow survivors review -
Circling the wagons was an amazing read and experience, as a childhood sexual abuse survivor myself, I was able to connect and relate to this book very easily. I had many moments reading this book that I could relate to, this has helped me to identify what steps I need to take next and support me to have confidence as an adult survivor.
Reading this book has great insights of what a survivor of childhood abuse may encounter through life and how to navigate through this. For such a difficult topic to write about, Deb has written with such passion and a clear purpose to help others through their healing.
Thank you, Deb, for having the courage to write a challenging and sharing personal aspects of your life, for the benefit of others.
Absolutely highly recommend for anyone that wants a perspective from someone that has lived experience firsthand and how to enhance your life with simple and easy strategies to find your pathway to healing.
John Cardamone
Speaker, Educator and survivor
What people are saying
What people are saying
Testimonials
For such a difficult topic to write about, Deb has written with passion and a clear purpose to help others through their healing, without oversharing.
This is a valuable resource for both counsellors and clients navigating the healing journey of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
I had many moments reading this book that I could relate to. It helped me identify my next steps and supported my confidence as an adult survivor.
What stands out is the author’s ability to link personal pain to broader societal issues of family shame, misplaced loyalty, and the culture of secrecy that leaves children vulnerable.
The book deeply resonated with me in its powerful exploration of trauma and healing.
Aldrick’s story feels like a call to society to confront and break the silence around intra-familial abuse.
What struck me most was the author’s determination to expose the silencing effects of abuse within families.
For survivors, family members, or anyone seeking to understand the impacts of childhood sexual abuse and the path to healing, Circling the Wagons is a poignant and essential read.
Aldrick’s voice reminds us that while the journey to healing is arduous, it is also filled with moments of strength, beauty, and profound resilience.
I highly recommend this book for any practitioner that has a client who has survived childhood abuse within the family.
The book is an honest account of one woman’s journey to healing and captures the road to recovery and how to navigate this as best you can.
This is well written and tells it like it is, in a way that either victims or their support network can digest and understand the emotional impact and lifelong effects of surviving.
This book was such an honest and yet a plainly simple way to respond to childhood family abuse.
The message was strong and concise, stop circling the wagon around the wrong people needing protection.
And without the need to delve into specific details of abuse, Deborah was able to relay the important message to those of us now in the role of protector and to those who need to know it’s not their secret to keep.
This is a much needed book in this devastating and destructive abuse area. Thank you Deborah for sharing your story. The more we talk about this abuse, the more likely I believe it is that we can stop it.
Protecting Our Children Starts With Us!
Understanding Intra-Familial and Child-On-Child Harm
Understanding Intra-Familial and Child-On-Child Harm
Every child has the right to grow up safe, seen, and supported. Yet in communities across Australia, many children continue to suffer harm in silence, particularly when that harm comes from within their own families or from other children.
Despite increasing awareness of child sexual abuse in institutional settings, intra-familial childhood sexual abuse (IFCSA) and child-on-child harmful sexual behaviour (COC HSB) remain deeply misunderstood, under-reported, and under-addressed.
Childhood sexual abuse is often assumed to be perpetrated by strangers or outsiders. However, evidence continues to show that most abuse happens in trusted environments, within families or close networks. Intra-familial abuse involves the sexual abuse of a child by a relative or family member. These cases are particularly complex, often hidden beneath layers of family secrecy, loyalty, and fear.
At the same time, there is a growing recognition of harmful sexual behaviour among children and adolescents. COC HSB refers to situations in which one child engages in sexual behaviour that is inappropriate, coercive, or abusive toward another child. While not always rooted in malicious intent, these behaviours can still cause serious harm, especially when they go unaddressed.
Both types of harm exist on a spectrum ranging from boundary-crossing behaviours to acts that constitute sexual abuse under the law. Yet due to stigma, confusion, or discomfort, many adults don’t know how to recognise early signs or respond effectively. This lack of awareness and response can leave children exposed to continued harm and without the help they need to heal.
Why Prevention Starts With Education
Understanding Intra-Familial and Child-On-Child Harm
Prevention requires more than protective policies, it requires informed communities.
Many parents, caregivers, and professionals feel ill-equipped to talk about healthy sexual development in childhood or what constitutes concerning behaviour. As a result, red flags are often dismissed as “just curiosity” or “just a phase.”
New parents, for example, receive detailed information about sleep routines and feeding schedules etc., but rarely about developmentally appropriate sexual behaviours, how to set healthy boundaries, or how to respond when something feels off.
Similarly, schools may teach body safety and consent in general terms, but few have clear protocols for recognising and addressing child-on-child harmful sexual behaviour or disclosures of intra-familial abuse.
One of my proposed solutions is the introduction of developmentally appropriate resources for parents and educators, such as brochures distributed through GP clinics and maternal health services.
These resources would include guidance on early warning signs, the influence of pornography and online content, and how to initiate age-appropriate conversations with children about body autonomy and personal safety.
The Role of Schools and Communities
Schools are in a unique position to detect early signs of harm. Educators and school staff often build strong, trusting relationships with students, making them potential safe adults to whom children may disclose abuse.
For this reason, one of my key messages to legislators was for every primary and secondary school in Australia to appoint a “Child Protection Champion.”
A trained staff member responsible for leading body safety education, identifying concerning behaviour, and supporting students in unsafe environments.
This role would also include implementing confidential systems, such as safe words, for children in intra-familial abuse situations and continued training for teachers to recognise children being harmed.
Outside the classroom, community education also plays a vital role. State-based workshops and online platforms could provide families with access to practical tools and trauma-informed support.
Equipping parents and caregivers with knowledge about COC HSB and IFCSA empowers them to create safer homes, recognise signs of harm, and respond with confidence, rather than shame or panic.
Lifting the Silence Through Inquiry and Survivor Voice
Intra-familial childhood sexual abuse remains one of the most hidden and under-researched forms of abuse.
A national inquiry into IFCSA would provide much-needed data on prevalence, patterns of disclosure, systemic failures, and survivor experiences.
Importantly, such an inquiry must centre the voices of survivors.
Lived experience/expertise must be treated as crucial evidence that shapes prevention strategies, service provision, and policy reform.
Recognising IFCSA as a form of domestic violence is something I have called for and embedding survivor perspectives across child protection, education, and mental health systems, would mark a significant shift toward accountability and healing.
Supporting Teen Survivors Before Harm Escalates
Teenagers who have experienced sexual abuse, especially within their families, face a unique set of challenges. Some may act out through risky or harmful behaviour, while others may internalise trauma through self-harm, depression, or isolation.
Targeted, trauma-informed support must be made available through school wellbeing teams, youth mental health services, and peer-led programs. Resources such as books, online forums, and educational material written by lived experience authors, can also play a crucial role in providing validation and guidance.
Early intervention during adolescence is key, not just to prevent further harm, but to offer young people a path to healing, before trauma becomes entrenched.
A Future We Can Build Together
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the scale and complexity of child sexual abuse, particularly when it takes place in the home or between children. But the solutions are not beyond us. If we commit to education, early intervention, survivor-led reform, and systemic inquiry, we can build a society where:
- Harmful behaviours are identified early and addressed with acknowledgment, accountability and education – this will lead to healing within families.
- Survivors are supported, not silenced.
- Families and communities are equipped to have open, informed conversations & therapy can ensue.
- Children are protected by adults who understand the risks & responsibilities.
E.A.A.T. is what I promote -
EDUCATION - ACKNOWLEDGEMENT -ACCOUNTABILTY -THERAPY - it's not rocket science and we must not overcomplicate this situation, to the point it gets put in the too hard basket.
We must move beyond fear and denial. We must listen to the voices of those who have lived through this harm and take meaningful action based on what they know to be true.
Circling The Wagons - Audio book version available now
My Audio book
After I had published my first edition of my paperback and e-book in 2024, I'd had requests from people to record an audio version of my book, as many people were time poor, or just preferred to listen while they drove or exercised etc.
So after I published my 2nd Edition book in early 2025, I then spent hours recording it in a studio. The Audio version is now available on numerous platforms including Spotify & Audible etc.
Spotify link -
https://open.spotify.com/show/0iXelMBNZRfLNkACeZTpth
Audible link -
https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Circling-the-Wagons-Audiobook/B0GLRGTVK4
The Recording Process
First step was to find a recording studio. Luckily there was a studio called Airlock in my area. Airlock is owned by Ian Haug, from the band "The Church" and formerly of "Powderfinger."
The process was gruelling at times. There were periods of despair whilst reading difficult chapters and a few "time outs" to compose myself before continuing. But we got it done! And just like my other book versions, I really hope it brings some comfort to those who need it and education to others who may not understand childhood trauma.
Chapter 21 - Family Tree Diagram
Whilst listening to an audio book is a quicker and easier way to take in a story, you don't get to see any pictures included.
In Chapter 21 - Generational Abuse - I unpack a hypothetical 3 generational toxic family tree case study - diagram pictured here.
Quicklinks & Resources
Children
Children
Children
Children -
NOCS - National Office for Child Safety - Body Safety Resources -
https://www.childsafety.gov.au/having-conversations/resources-teach-body-safety
The Daniel Morcombe Foundation - Keeping Kids Safe Resources -https://danielmorcombe.com.au/keeping-kids-safe-resources/
CAPE - Conversations with kids - Kids Body Safety
https://www.kristimcvee.com/podcasts/conversations-with-kristi
John Cardamone - Body Safe Cards - https://johncardamone.com.au/body-safe-cards/
Children's Rights Qld -
Advancing children's rights through education and awareness -
https://childrensrights.org.au
Operation KidSafe book - by Ex WA Detective and educator Kristi McVee -
https://www.kristimcvee.com/book
Kids of Purple - online support service for children affected by domestic and family violence
https://www.kidsofpurple.org.au
Headspace - mental health support for children & young people -
Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800
Teenagers/adolescents
Children
Children
Teenagers/Adolescents -
Keep adolescents safe online -
Surf Online Safe -
https://www.surfonlinesafe.com.au/sextortion.html
REACHOUT AUSTRALIA - provides mental health support and resources for young people and their parents to help them navigate tough times and improve wellbeing - https://au.reachout.com
Kids of Purple - online support service for children affected by domestic and family violence
https://www.kidsofpurple.org.au
STOP it now! Australia -
Are you concerned about another adult's or child's thoughts or behaviour? Find out more about the support and help available to you.https://www.stopitnow.org.au
NOCS - National Office for Child Safety - Conversations with teenagers -
Headspace - mental health support for children & young people -
Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800
https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens
Laurel Place - Special sexual assault counselling 12yrs & over -
https://www.laurelplace.com.au/services/adults-and-young-peoples-program
RESET program - Adolescents displaying harmful sexual behaviours 10 - 17yrs old - https://www.laurelplace.com.au/services/reset
It's Time We Talked - Pornography education - Young people - Parents - Schools - Community organisations
Link to helpful short videos -
https://itstimewetalked.com/young-people/whats-the-issue/
Porn Is Not The Norm - Support for autistic young people & their communities, to safely navigate pornography's influence -
Get home safe - Rideshare tips further down
women
Children
Men
Women -
Nomad Counselling Services -
https://www.nomadcounsellingandwellness.com
Laurel Place - Womens Space -
https://www.laurelplace.com.au/services/womens-space
Isabella Semeraro Counselling -
https://www.isabellasemerarocounselling.com/contact
STOP it now! Australia -
Are you concerned about another adult's or child's thoughts or behaviour? Find out more about the support and help available to you.
DV Connect - Women's Line
https://www.dvconnect.org/womensline/
DVConnects - Women's Shelters
https://www.dvconnect.org/womensline/about-womens-shelters/
Sunny is 1800RESPECT's app for people with disability
https://1800respect.org.au/sunny
The Safer Me Safer You national project works with people with disabilities to understand social and sexual safety
https://safermesaferyou.org.au/resources/consent
Encircle Brisbane -
https://encircle.org.au/brisbane-counselling-and-family-therapy/
Get home safe - Rideshare tips further down
Men
Survivors - everyone learns differently
Men
Men -
Support for male survivors - SAMSN -
https://www.samsn.org.au/about-us/
Nomad Counselling Services -
https://www.nomadcounsellingandwellness.com
DVConnect Mensline -
https://www.dvconnect.org/mensline/
The Safer Me Safer You national project works with people with disabilities to understand social and sexual safety
https://safermesaferyou.org.au/resources/consent
Strong Men with Jared Whitaker -
Domestic Abuse advocate & coach - for men suffering from Domestic Violence.
https://www.strongmenfoundation.com
STOP it now! Australia -
Are you concerned about your own thoughts or behaviour? Find out more about the support and help available to you.
Ryan Harland -
Male survivor and mental health advocate/author/speaker
Families
Survivors - everyone learns differently
Survivors - everyone learns differently
Families -
NOCS - National Office for Child Safety -
https://www.childsafety.gov.au/about-child-sexual-abuse/what-child-sexual-abuse
Encircle - Family Support -
https://encircle.org.au/pine-rivers-family-support/
REACHOUT AUSTRALIA - Helping you to support them, whatever challenge your teen is facing. Free expert advice, coaching and support for parents and carers in Australia- https://parents.au.reachout.com
Nomad Counselling Services -
https://www.nomadcounsellingandwellness.com
DVConnect -
https://www.1800respect.org.au/violence-and-abuse
Operation KidSafe book - by Ex WA Detective and educator Kristi McVee -
https://www.kristimcvee.com/book
It's Time We Talked - Pornography education - Resources for Parents/Caregivers of young people
https://itstimewetalked.com/parents/
Link to helpful short videos -
https://itstimewetalked.com/young-people/whats-the-issue/
CAPE - Conversations with Kristi - I Recommend - Episodes 2 & 9
https://www.kristimcvee.com/podcasts/conversations-with-kristi
esafety.gov.au - esafety commissioner
Report online harm -
https://www.esafety.gov.au/report
Suspect child abuse - Contact Policelink
https://www.police.qld.gov.au/policelink-reporting
ARO - Alternate Reporting Options -
ARO can be a useful healing strategy for victim-survivors of sexual assault and is a voluntary process. ARO provides you an option to tell police what happened to you without the police investigating or the matter going to Court. Victim-survivors have many reasons for not officially reporting crimes of sexual violence. Click below to find out more -
Survivors - everyone learns differently
Survivors - everyone learns differently
Survivors - everyone learns differently
Everyone -
I've tried to make this a website where everyone can interact & learn in their own way. And even if nothing happened to you, it doesn't mean you can't educate yourself on how to prevent child sexual abuse, or know how to help adult survivors.
- Visual - watch my reels to understand survivors’ reactions as children, teenagers and adults.
- Or my webinar -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDizuHk5cds
- Auditory - listen to my podcasts & videos in the - Podcast & speaking events section. Download my audio book version available on most audio book platforms including Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/0iXelMBNZRfLNkACeZTpth
- Reading - My blogs, articles & my paperback - Circling The Wagons https://dragonflyadvocacy.com.au/ols/products/circling-the-wagons-paperback
- Ebook available at online retailers.
Connect with me on -Facebook/Tiktok/Instagram - links are at the end of my website.
STOP it now! Australia
Are you an adult victim-survivor of child sexual abuse? Find out more about the support and help available to you.https://www.stopitnow.org.au
ARO - Alternate Reporting Options -
ARO can be a useful healing strategy for victim-survivors of sexual assault and is a voluntary process. ARO provides you an option to tell police what happened to you without the police investigating or the matter going to Court. Victim-survivors have many reasons for not officially reporting crimes of sexual violence. Click below to find out more -
Other book resources -
Operation KidSafe book - by Ex WA Detective and educator Kristi McVee -
https://www.kristimcvee.com/book
Resolve by Alice Perle - (Sibling Sexual Abuse) - https://aliceperle.com.au/shop/
I Feel Real Guilty by Jane Epstein - (Sibling Sexual Abuse)
Survivor Self Care
Meditation
Meditation is a wonderful and healthy way to relax more, breathe slower and deeper and learn how to calm both your mind and body.
Some of the benefits of meditation are -
- Reduced stress
- Improved sleep
- Reduce chronic pain
- Strengthen immune system
- Increased self-awareness
- Improved concentration
- Increased creativity
- Increased patience
- Reduced negative feelings
- Improved emotional regulation
- Improved mental health
Over the years I have come to realise just how shallow my breathing was. This developed from my heightened responses from my childhood abuse. Since I started meditation I have been able to communicate in a much more stable and regulated way, breathing my way through confrontation or toxic conversations. This had been a struggle for me previously and I highly recommend any survivors take this up. The more you do, the better you get. There are many apps such as Calm or Smiling Minds, that you can download on your phone. 10 mins a day will help you so much!
Exercise
Exercise has always been a part of my life. From playing tennis as a small girl, to lifting weights at the gym as an adult. Exercise has played a big part in me being able to get all the anxiety and tension out of my body, over the years.
Other benefits of exercise -
- Brain health - improving your memory, reducing anxiety and depression and lowering your risk of cognitive decline.
- Heart health - reducing your risk of heart disease and stroke etc.
- Bone health
- Weight management
- Blood pressure
- Mood enhancing
- Energy
- Immunity
- Inclusion - team sports
As survivors, what we went through has had negative effects on our mind and body, including our stress system.
Due to this we need to work even harder to keep our mind and body as healthy as possible and keep auto-immune illnesses at bay. Walking, gym, pilates, yoga, running, hiking, swimming or any team sports, are all so beneficial for your health.
Journaling
Journaling - how this has helped in my healing journey.
When I began writing about my childhood abuse, it was to help others from my pain. Although I had always had the confidence that my book would be able to benefit others, my writing has helped me immensely too.
Journaling has allowed me to work through so many questions that I didn't have answers for, my whole life. Secrets, silencing and lies were all uncovered, once I started writing and working through things like the words spoken during my abuse and the instances and timelines things happened.
Until I took the time out of my busy life to write, I never knew I could write a poem, or an analogy or a whole book! What a wasted life I would have lived, if I didn't take this time for myself.
Journaling can help you process difficult experiences, grow your self-confidence, get thoughts out of your head, reflect on events and free up mental space. That last one -"free up mental space" I found until I wrote things down, my mind would continue to circle back to certain events, but once written down, then I was free of these thoughts.
Relaxing - time just for you
Relaxing! What does this mean for you?
I have struggled all my life to relax. The way I ended up dealing with my trauma, was to never stop. Something in me thought this would be a good way to not have to think about my childhood abuse. And not stopping, made it real easy to go along with my life and not deal with it. But you can only go, go, go for so long, before your body breaks down.
I've had bumps in the road over the years, but the biggest road block for me, came about when I was in my early 30's. This came in the form of panic attacks! And for anyone who has experienced them, you will be well aware that these aren't something you can ignore. They make you have a real hard look at yourself and your life choices.
If you don't deal with your mind, your body will do it for you. Whether it's panic attacks, anxiety, depression or other illnesses. We all need to stop, take a breath and find the things we enjoy, to be able to relax in life.
Take a walk with a friend, go to the beach and take in the scenery, lie on a picnic blanket at the park and read. Anything that helps you find a bit more of the person you need to be in life.
The "you" that you may have lost over the years.
Self Care
Self care
If you don't care for you, who will? A lot of survivors will have forgotten over the years about themselves and their wants and needs. As the saying goes - "you can't pour from an empty cup." If you continue to give to everyone else, you will become depleted and feel empty inside.
I did this all my life, because I became a people pleaser. I only just realised why I needed to please others, at the expense of myself. And that's because I had very low self-esteem. The only way I could feel good about myself, was from getting external validation. I relied on other people telling me I had done well, because my abuser made me feel - stupid, took away my confidence and humiliated me. So my self-doubt took over in all aspects of my life. I didn't even know what I liked to do anymore, because I always did everything others wanted to do.
I LOST MYSELF!
But once I found out the truth about how CSA affected me, started to put myself and my wants first, I began to shine.
I now take care of me and do the things I like to do. Like gardening, spending time with friends, going for walks while listening to my favourite music etc. Find what you like to do, and everything else in your life, will fall into place and people will respect you, for knowing your worth.
Change someone's world
What if?
What if you could change someone's world? Change their life for the better. It's really not that hard, if you think about it. Little things can be done every day, to make someone else happy or give them hope for the future.
Have you ever had a stranger smile when you walked past them and out of nowhere you felt better? Just that small act made you feel good inside. There are people out there who just have this innate way of making you feel good. This could be a friend who picks you up, when you are down. Or that co-worker who cracks a joke, to make you laugh, when you're having a bad day.
Find happiness in your life from the little things. Being kind doesn't cost a thing. But can mean so much to another human being. Too many people focus on money or stardom these days, thinking that is the way to happiness. But it's not.
I feel "paying it forward" with kindness, support, empathy and love for others, is the only way to find true happiness in yourself.
If my book, this advocacy website or the work I am doing to help other survivors, has helped you - please let others know so they can also receive help, or find the resources on my website to stop another child from being abused. Or feel free to reach out to me via my contact form at the end of my website.
I would love to hear from you. But most of all, look after yourself and find the person you were born to be!
Retailers where "Circling The Wagons" is sold worldwide
Survivor Spotlight - Inspirational Stories
Lauren
Ryan Harland - Author of Riding The Storm
Meet Lauren
Age- 20
I am a victim-survivor of child-on-child sexual abuse & sexual abuse perpetrated by a once-trusted adult. When I turned 17, I spent the day with my adult perpetrator because I felt I had no choice & many flashbacks started coming back.
I didn’t understand what had happened to me as a child & it’s like the floodgates had opened. During my HSC year, my school psychologist & private psychologist both reported me to child protective services, & I spent the year in & out of police interviews & preparing for court.
After a terrible & traumatic legal & police process, I became involved in sexual assault non-profits & research projects. I mainly advocate for trauma-informed responses for frontline workers.
I managed to get an 89 Atar which was a major achievement for me, because I spent most of the year not doing well emotionally, but I think I could have done better had the year not been so traumatic.
I’m now involved in research projects still & am in third year of psychology. My University journey has been so tough, & I have almost dropped out due to the mental toll of PTSD, but I am due to finish psychology undergrad in a few months & then hopefully will get into an honours course!
Struggling with Uni has made me feel really stupid, but in reality, I am just coping with a lot.
Therapy was the main thing which helped me move forward. I also found a sense of purpose in my psychology degree & dream of being a psychologist. My volunteer work in this area & advocacy has helped me heal & use my experience & pain for good!
I work in advocacy to use my experience to enact change.
My healing habit is regular therapy & maintaining a strong support system with friends, as I have a complicated one with family.
My message to survivors, particularly those who are currently teenagers or young adults, is that you did not deserve what happened to you & it is not your fault. Life does get better & you are so loved & worthy.
What happened is more of a reflection of the other person. If the legal process doesn’t work out due to “lack of evidence” please know that doesn’t discount your very real experience.
(Thank you Lauren, I'm very proud of what an inspirational young woman you are)! Deb
Below is a link to Lauren's podcast interview with Ex WA Detective - Kristi McVee
https://www.kristimcvee.com/podcasts/conversations-with-kristi/episodes/2149005044
Ryan Harland - Author of Riding The Storm
Ryan Harland - Author of Riding The Storm
Meet Ryan
Age: 48
My story began with something no child should ever go through. I experienced abuse within my own family when I was a teenager, and it changed the course of my life.
I didn’t have the language for it back then, so I carried it alone, confused, ashamed, and convinced it was something I had to keep buried.
That silence shaped years of struggle. My emotions were intense, unpredictable, and overwhelming, but I didn’t understand why. In 2016 I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and that diagnosis helped me make sense of everything I’d been fighting internally since childhood.
What helped me move forward was learning about trauma, facing the truth of what happened, and realising that none of the blame was ever mine.
Therapy, support, and writing my book Riding the Storm allowed me to break the silence that had controlled my life for so long.
I do this work because I know what silence costs. I speak up to make sure other survivors know they are not alone, and to honour my brother Kev, who never had the chance to heal.
My healing habits include walking, journalling, reflection, and being near the sea.
To other survivors: your past does not define your worth. Healing is possible and you deserve it.
(Thank you Ryan, for your courage to speak up, so others will feel not so alone and all the amazing work you are doing)!. Deb
Below is a link to Ryan's website - where you can connect with him or purchase his book.
Website: ridingthestorm.co.uk
Jeremy indika - something to say
Meet Jeremy
Age - 40
I am someone whose body safety rules were broken as a child, and at the time, I didn’t have the language, understanding, or confidence to speak about it.
For a long time, I carried that in silence.
From the outside, everything looked fine, but internally there was confusion, questions, and a lack of clarity around what had happened and why I hadn’t said anything.
What helped me move forward was education.
Understanding how these situations develop, how trust can be built and used, and how children think and respond in those moments removed a lot of the shame that never belonged to me in the first place.
That understanding is what now drives my work.
I speak to children, parents and professionals about body safety, online safety, and communication — not just what the rules are, but how these situations actually unfold in real life.
A simple habit that helps me is creating space to think clearly — whether that’s walking, reflecting, or having honest conversations.
Not avoiding things, but facing them with understanding.
If there’s one thing I would say to other survivors, it’s this: there is nothing wrong with you.
What happened is not your fault, and there is a way forward.
(Thank you so much Jeremy for sharing your journey of healing and also for the important and impactful work you are doing educating children and adults alike, about abuse and protection in the UK. Knowing the signs of abuse and having early intervention or prevention, is so important in our society, particularly at the moment with so much harm online and in person with children. I am proud to know you)! Deb
Below is a link to Jeremy's website where you can find more about everything Jeremy is doing and also hear from other survivors
Website: https://jeremyindika.com
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
ANOTHER STORY - COMING SOON
Counselling services around Brisbane
SERVICES AGAINST SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Laurel Place Inc. is a community-based, government funded, free, specialised and confidential Counselling service. They provide counselling, support, information and education relating to sexual violence across the Sunshine Coast, Moreton Bay, Gympie and South Burnett areas.
Their staff are specialist sexual assault practitioners who hold a range of qualifications in Psychology, Social Work, Counselling and Human Services.
Adults and Young People's Program
Their Adults and Young People’s Program provides specialist sexual assault counselling and support to young people (aged 12 and over) and adults who have experienced sexual assault or abuse at any time in their lives. Counselling can also be provided to non-offending supporters, including parents, care-givers and partners of people who have experienced sexual assault or abuse.
https://www.laurelplace.com.au/services/adults-and-young-peoples-program
Other services they offer - First Response Program, Children & Families Program, First Nations Client Support Worker, RESET (Youth Sexual Violence) and Women's Space.
They have offices at – Maroochydore, Morayfield, Gympie and Murgon
Click here to get in touch - https://www.laurelplace.com.au/contact-us
ISABELLA SEMERARO - COUNSELLOR
About Isabella -
Isabella values kindness, understanding, honesty, and curiosity in her counselling practice. She focuses strongly on the therapeutic relationship between herself and her clients and believes that her clients are the experts in their own lives. Isabella works from a values-based and client-centered approach, utilising a mixture of narrative, creative, and somatic therapies. Isabella enjoys supporting and empowering clients from all walks of life to overcome challenges they may be facing.
Services Isabella offers -
- Individual Counselling
- Child & Adolescent Counselling
- Couples Counselling
- Family Counselling
Isabella is also currently working as a sexual assault counsellor at a not for profit organisation.
She feels privileged to walk alongside and hear the stories of survivor
To contact Isabella click here - https://www.isabellasemerarocounselling.com/contact
Bree - Nomad Counselling services
Bree - Nomad Counselling services
Nomad Counselling - Meet Bree
Bree began her counselling career in 2008 in Brisbane, specialising in substance abuse, mental health, and dual diagnosis. Between 2010 and 2012, she worked in California in private practice and medical settings, supporting youth and individuals with HIV/AIDS.
As a registered Clinical Counsellor and Psychotherapist with PACFA, Bree taught and mentored tertiary counselling students and served as a Senior Practitioner and Facilitator for a national EAP program.
Bree’s experience spans diverse client groups and issues including trauma, grief, conflict, and family systems, using an integrative, person-centred, and humanistic approach. She is passionate about supporting individuals to improve their lives through compassionate, non-judgmental, and collaborative therapeutic relationships—honouring each person's unique process of change and growth.
I love Bree's motto - To get "there", you need to start here!
I personally highly recommend Bree, to any fellow survivors of childhood sexual abuse who want to start or continue in their healing journey!
Click here to learn more -
Podcasts & speaking events
WNMOT podcast- "We need more of this" with Scott Rado
I was fortunate enough to be on this episode of WNMOT podcast with Scott Radovanovich. WNMOT stands for - "We need more of this" and is a NZ podcast.
Our conversation flowed easily, as I've found all his other episodes that I've listened to previously have, and I always learn something new from Scott and his guests.
Throughout this episode I speak about how much damage is done to victim/survivors of CSA, particularly children abused by a trusted family member. (BTW - I never speak of the acts). I just try to explain the family toxicity, harm done to the survivors, behaviours we develop to try to deal with and understand what happened, and most importantly how to let go of any unfounded guilt or shame that so many of us carry throughout our lives. How to finally let go of the anchors holding us down.
Click here to listen -
https://open.spotify.com/episode/06X0Rfm6U99k1yhxPYYzqK
Scott has many other very important and impactful episodes to listen to, which I highly recommend.
HANDING THE SHAME BACK - PODCAST
During my advocacy work, I connected with Gloria Masters of "Handing the shame back" podcast.
I had the privilege to be on her show recently - To check out this episode click here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjc_KO48Ezk
Gloria is now an Author, Advocate and Survivor: and the woman behind the Global hand signal for under 16’s, released in June 2023.
Her charity in New Zealand helps with resources and the prevention and protection of children from sexual abuse. To find out more or make a donation, click on the link below.
"Raising my voice" to stop violence
CAPE - "CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION Education" - PODCAST
Guest speaker at "Moreton Bay Says No To Violence" Walk & Speaking event 31-5-24, opening up the dialogue of intra-familial childhood sexual abuse being a form of domestic violence.
Deb explains why "Intra-familial childhood sexual assault" should be included when speaking about "domestic violence."
Childhood sexual abuse = Domestic Violence
Click here to watch video
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1S8lkamTsc85Vw4VwSj-HIxvLu3d3G3EH/view?ts=665d47c1
abuse help, adult survivors, adult child abuse survivors
CAPE - "CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION Education" - PODCAST
CAPE - "CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION Education" - PODCAST
I came across the CAPE podcast by ex WA Detective Kristi McVee. CAPE stands for Child Abuse Prevention and Education. Kristi speaks with a vast aray of experts and lived experience guests on her podcast. Kristi and her guests give specific information, advice and tools to assist and guide parents in keeping their kids safe from abuse. I have personally learnt a lot just from listening to a few of her episodes and due to her laid-back approach to interviewing, find her show very relatable and easy to listen to.
I had the privelige to be on her show recently - To check out this episode click here - https://www.kristimcvee.com/podcasts/conversations-with-kristi/episodes/2148871978
BEYOND THE MARGINS - USA PODCAST
I connected with Jason from - Beyond the Margins over social media, and he was kind enough to have myself and my fellow Australian survivor friend, John Cardamone, on a few of his new podcast episodes.
This conversation features John Cardamone and myself, both survivors of childhood abuse, we share our personal stories and advocacy efforts. We also discuss the importance of education on recognizing signs of abuse, the impact of family dynamics, and the need for supportive responses to disclosures. John introduces his Be Calmer framework for effective communication with survivors, while I talk about my book, Circling the Wagons, which aims to shed light on the complexities of intra-familial abuse. The discussion also highlights resources for survivors seeking help and the importance of lived experience in understanding trauma.
Something to say YouTube Video
Jeremy Indika - Protecting children and teenagers from sexual abuse | Founder of Something to Say
I connected with Jeremy via Linkedin and have followed his journey of advocacy and education around protecting and teaching children how to stay safe.
He is doing ground breaking work in this arena in the UK, with his strength to stand up and say "this happened to me, and I don't want it happening to any other kids."
Video link of my "Something to say" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_5hJwGVRDM
Organisations for further help in Australia
Child Sexual Abuse support services
mental health support & suicide prevention
child protection Education & Resources
Blue Knot - https://blueknot.org.au
Partners Speak - https://www.partnerspeak.org.au
Knowmore - https://knowmore.org.au
Bravehearts - https://bravehearts.org.au/get-help/children-young-people-families/counselling/
child protection Education & Resources
mental health support & suicide prevention
child protection Education & Resources
The Daniel Morcombe Foundation -
NOCS - National Office Of Child Safety -
https://www.childsafety.gov.au
John Cardamone - Body Safe Cards
https://johncardamone.com.au/body-safe-cards/
Safe4kids - https://safe4kids.com.au
mental health support & suicide prevention
mental health support & suicide prevention
mental health support & suicide prevention
Lifeline Australia - https://www.lifeline.org.au
Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au
Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au
domestic violence support services
domestic violence support services
mental health support & suicide prevention
Encircle - https://encircle.org.au
Kids of Purple - online support service for children affected by domestic and family violence
https://www.kidsofpurple.org.au
1800Respect - https://www.1800respect.org.au
White Ribbon - https://whiteribbon.org.au/helplines/
DVConnect - https://www.dvconnect.org
cyber safety & online resources
domestic violence support services
cyber safety & online resources
Surf Online Safe - https://surfonlinesafe.com.au
esafety - https://www.esafety.gov.au
esafekids - https://www.esafekids.com.au
Youth Law Australia - https://yla.org.au
Think U Know - https://www.thinkuknow.org.au
Adult survivor resources
domestic violence support services
cyber safety & online resources
Circling the Wagons paperback - https://dragonflyadvocacy.com.au/ols/products/circling-the-wagons-paperback
Handing The Shame Back - https://www.handingtheshameback.org
Blueknot - https://blueknot.org.au
Incest AWARE is an alliance of survivors, supporters, and organizations on a mission to keep children safe from incest in the first place, secure safe methods of intervention, support survivors in recovery, and end recidivism by transforming people who harmhttp://www.incestaware.org/
Rideshare tips by Cordisco & Saile - USA
WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
- Request your ride before going outside. Lingering outside alone while looking down at your phone is dangerous.
- Keep your phone charged when you go out. This will not only prevent you from being stuck without a ride but also allow you to text or call someone in an emergency.
- Before boarding, make sure the car, license plate, and driver are correct. Don’t get into a car until you’ve confirmed that the car and driver match those assigned to you.
- Have the driver confirm your name. Don’t walk up and ask if a ride is for you. Wait and see if the driver knows your name before entering the car.
- Check if the child safety lock has been activated before entering the car. One key danger of rideshare vehicles is that a driver can covertly activate the child lock, trapping you in the backseat. Make sure you can operate the inside handle normally before closing the door.
Be aware
- Share your rideshare route with a friend or family member. Many rideshare apps have features that let you text your route to another person so they can follow it in real-time. If your rideshare driver takes an unexpected detour, your trusted contact can find your location.
- Sit in the back seat of the car. Sitting in the front passenger seat puts you very close to the driver, meaning it’s much easier for them to grab or otherwise physically hurt you.
- Always wear your seatbelt. Wearing a seatbelt can prevent injury from a collision.
- Never give out your personal information. Your driver never needs to know your full name, phone number, home address, or other identifying information.
- Never pay cash. You might occasionally see a driver offering rides for cash without a rideshare app. The company likely hasn’t vetted an unregulated cash-only driver, so don’t get into their car.
- Only communicate with your driver in the rideshare app. Don’t text or call a rideshare driver using your own number.
GET HOME safe
GET HOME safe
- Keep an eye on your surroundings. Follow the route on your phone to better understand how to get home if you arrive in the wrong place.
- Travel in groups when you can. Sharing a car with people you trust means there are witnesses if anyone gets hurt.
- Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t get into the vehicle. It’s always okay to cancel the ride if something seems off.
- Call for help if you’re in trouble. If you’re in danger, call a friend, the police, or another trusted party. If needed, shout out the window.
- Exit the vehicle in a safe area. Don’t exit the car somewhere unfamiliar, unexpected, or otherwise dangerous. Try to exit in a brightly lit, familiar space if possible.
Thank you to Cordisco & Saile LLC in the USA, for reaching out to me to add these very important ride share safety tips to my advocacy website.
Disclaimer - Dragonfly advocacy has no professional affiliation with
Cordisco & Saile LLC.
Contact Me
Questions or Comments or review my book
Dragonfly Advocacy
Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
